Mark Pentleton

Today’s song is perhaps not very well known – but it deserves to be. It’s taken from the 2004 Swedish blockbuster Så som i himmelen (On earth as it is in heaven) and was sung by Helen Sjöholm in the film. The film tells the story of Daniel, a renowned conductor who, following health problems, returns to his village in the north of Sweden and eventually is convinced to help out with the local church choir. As a child he had endured a life of bullying and one of the choir members (Gabriella) is still suffering at the hands of one of these bullies. Gabriella’s song is about living the life she wants to live. The performance of this song in the film is extremely powerful – here’s the YouTube link, but it’s worth trying to get hold of the film to see the song in its original context. In some ways the ending of the film is tragic, making it unlikely to cross over into a Hollywood treatment! However, in other ways the ending is truly happy because the song’s final line, “Jag vill känna att jag levt mitt liv” (”I want to feel that I’ve lived my life”) is exactly what Daniel has done.

The film was nominated as Best Foreign Language Film in the 77th Academy Awards, and the song spent 68 weeks in the Swedish charts between 2004 and 2006. It’s one of those songs which is very well known in Scandinavia, often performed at Confirmation celebrations, but it’s still relatively unknown in the English-speaking world. As yet I don’t know of any English language version, but a translation of the lyrics is below. I hope you enjoy it!

Swedish

Det är nu som livet är mitt
Jag har fått en stund här på jorden
Och min längtan har fört mig hit
Det jag saknat och det jag fått

Det är ändå vägen jag valt
Min förtröstan långt bortom orden
Som har visat en liten bit
Av den himmel jag aldrig nått

Jag vill känna att jag lever
All den tid jag har
Ska jag leva som jag vill
Jag vill känna att jag lever
Veta att jag räcker till

Jag har aldrig glömt vem jag var
Jag har bara låtit det sova
Kanske hade jag inget val
Bara viljan att finnas kvar

Jag vill leva lycklig för att jag är jag
Kunna vara stark och fri
Se hur natten går mot dag
Jag är här och mitt liv är bara mitt
Och den himmel jag trodde fanns
Ska jag hitta där nånstans

Jag vill känna att jag levt mitt liv

English translation

It is now that my life is mine
I’ve got this short time on earth
And my longing has brought me here
All I lacked and all I gained

And yet it’s the way that I chose
My trust was far beyond words
That has shown me a little bit
Of the heaven I’ve never found

I want to feel I’m alive
All my living days
I will live as I desire
I want to feel I’m alive
Knowing I was good enough

I have never lost who I was
I have only left it sleeping
Maybe I never had a choice
Just the will to stay alive

All I want is to be happy
Being who I am
To be strong and to be free
To see day arise from night

I am here and my life is only mine
And the heaven I thought was there
I’ll discover it there somewhere
I want to feel that I’ve lived my life!

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